Most of us know Archimedes for streaking through the quad into the gymnasium while screaming “Eureka!”
To be fair, he’d just figured out how to calculate density, which no one had ever done. Straight to the King he went, not even bothering to grab a towel. It’s not like the citizens of Syracuse were particularly alarmed as he dashed by them, nude; that was just Archimedes on a Tuesday.
That’s the bit you’re aware of. A more interesting part of Archimedes’ life revolves around strategies to defend Syracuse. The Romans laid siege to the city by sea and Archimedes gave them the business.
He redesigned the catapults on the city walls and enabled defenders to target ships further out to sea with precision.
He designed a crane that swung deadly payloads out from the wall before dropping it onto unsuspecting Romans.
The Claw of Archimedes stole the show, however. It functioned like the crane, but dropped a massive metal claw that could be reeled back in. The Claw punched all the way through to the water, but for good measure it pulled ships up out of the sea a bit before dropping them. Good night, Romans.
We will never know for sure if the Archimedes Death Ray came to fruition or not. I’m convinced it was real; The man independently invented catapults, elevators, and infinity and was pretty close to calculus until a Roman soldier stabbed him at his desk.
I am guessing that the lethality of the Death Ray has beefed up over the years on account of how awesome it sounds. Concentrated rays are distracting and uncomfortably warm. Ever try driving into the setting sun? Now, pilot a quadrireme into a second artificial sun along a rocky sea wall while flaming arrows and boulders fall on you. It sounds like a bad time.
Just ask the general who eventually took Syracuse:
These triumphant inventions broke the Romans’ courage and arguably prevented them from attempting an all out assault on Syracuse. The cost was just too great. As the Roman commander Marcellus wryly remarked, “Archimedes uses my ships to ladle sea water into his wine cups”.
Archimedes did all of this in defense of his hometown at age 75.
Do not disturb his circles.
Republished March 12th, 2024